Only Two Questions?

Alan Shlemon has been one of my closest friends since the late 1990s, but after all these years, his answer surprised me. Late last year, our outreach team was about to sit down to dinner in his home, and I asked a version of this question: “What’s the minimum amount of training you think someone needs in order to have a successful conversation on a difficult topic?”

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Alan Shlemon of Stand to Reason (right) interacts with a student at JFA’s “Stop and Think” outreach at UCLA in May 2016. Although we don’t know everything Alan was covering in this conversation, we do know for certain he was employing the two questions what and why and modeling the approach we discuss in this post.

Alan is a speaker at Stand to Reason (www.str.org), and like the trainers at Justice For All (JFA), he regularly equips Christians to talk about the most thorny and complicated topics in the culture. I expected Alan to say something like “four or five hours” since just one topic can bring up a myriad of facts, questions, and arguments, let alone all of the related topics people inevitably also raise.

Instead, Alan said he really only needed just a few minutes to teach people to use the Columbo Tactic. He was referring to asking questions that gather information and request reasons. (STR’s Greg Koukl named this tactic after the beloved, bumbling 1970’s detective who solved his crimes by asking questions.) That was it? All people need is to learn to ask a couple of questions?

I quickly realized, though, that Alan was simply reminding me of what I and other JFA trainers have been teaching for years: “Learn to ask two questions, and you can make an impact in any conversation on any topic with anyone anytime anywhere.” What two questions? The same ones to which Alan was referring: what and why. These questions help us gather information (What do you believe? What did you mean by that?) and ask people to give reasons for the claims they make (Why do you believe that? How did you come to that conclusion?). These two questions also “get us out of the hot seat and into the driver’s seat of the conversation,” as Greg Koukl has often said.

Now, I don’t mean you can ask these questions in any way and expect them to create productive dialogue. Obviously, we need to follow these questions up with “listening to understand.” We’ve also found that accompanying these questions with a desire to find common ground (“I agree… I think you’re making a good point”) and an attitude of humility (“I know I’m mistaken about some things, and you might have insight that will shed light on which of my beliefs are false”) helps the two questions make their impact. In this way you can also create a context in which the person is more likely to be open to a third type of question that challenges his or her beliefs.

So, if you’re afraid to engage friends or family in conversation about difficult topics, I suggest you focus on developing your ability to ask these two questions, what and why. How? Start practicing. What’s great about these questions is that you don’t have to do the heavy lifting. You only have to figure out what words need to be clarified and what parts of the person’s view are unclear (ask some question that begins with “what did you mean…?”). Then once you have the person’s view clarified, you can think of her view like the roof of a house. What does a roof need in order to be a roof? Walls. So you then ask the person to build walls that support her roof (ask some question that begins with “why do you believe…?” or “how did you come to this conclusion?”).

You can even practice this approach and these questions on topics that don’t have to do with controversial issues; I’m referring to the conversations you have with the people closest to you that become tense and frequently devolve into hurt feelings. Instead of assuming you know what your spouse or child or friend meant, ask “what did you mean when you said…?” Instead of assuming you know how she would support her view, ask “what reasons for this view are persuasive to you?”

I’m confident you’ll find that you can create productive conversations you never thought possible. In fact, people frequently report to our team during our campus events things like, “This was the best conversation I’ve ever had.” Sure, members of the JFA team have a lot of experience, and I consider them experts. But even someone with no experience, a conversation beginner, can experience the same extraordinary results. You can start today to develop these skills. Just focus on asking these two questions!

Thank you for partnering with us as we help pro-life advocates and Christians get started changing hearts and minds with simple tools like these.

Note: This letter is the third in a series of letters on conversation skills we teach volunteers that help them get started having conversations and encourage them to stay active. See the previous letters in the series:

• “Be a Playmaker” (jfaweb.org/feb-2023)

• “Thinking about the Unborn for the First Time” (jfaweb.org/may-2023)

Should We Flip-Flop When Someone Flips Out?

JFA trainer Kristina Massa was surprised when an angry young woman lashed out at a poll table sign at our outreach event at Boise State in the fall. She was even more surprised at the conversation that followed. Through her retelling in a recent letter, “Flipping Tables in the Courtyard” (enclosed, or see www.jfaweb.org/jan-2024), Kristina provides a great model for deciding “what to say when,” and she illustrates the sort of balanced approach all JFA trainers aim to exhibit in every conversation. Please read her letter, and then I’ll explain.

Note how Kristina doesn’t shy away from the young woman’s question about homosexuality and marriage. You might think this would lead to a distraction from the main topic. While controversial questions can be a distraction in some abortion conversations, in this instance addressing the topic turned out to be helpful.

Click here for the Printable Version.

Kristina answered the young woman’s questions directly and honestly, giving her the benefit of the doubt that she was asking in good faith and not intending to trap. Kristina didn’t try to hide her views on sexuality and marriage, even though she knew they were very controversial. She didn’t go weak-kneed or change her views because this woman had flipped out by “flipping tables” (her words). Instead, Kristina gave a straightforward answer with a reasonable explanation, and she also avoided expressing her views in an unnecessarily harsh way.

Then Kristina prayed with the young woman, banking on the fact that they shared similar backgrounds in Christian communities. Rather than focusing on the differences she definitely had with this woman regarding beliefs about God, Jesus, and how we should live, Kristina focused on the small sliver of common ground that this woman had implied earlier, that she did consider herself to be following Jesus.

With many people who vehemently disagree with us on difficult topics, we have found this approach to be disarming and bridge-building. In this case, I am guessing that this woman appreciated the fact that Kristina showed interest in a passion of hers. I believe the woman also felt dignified by Kristina’s decision to trust her with what she really thought.

Conversations with Helen and Lisa

Thank you for supporting JFA’s work this year. We’ve been especially encouraged by the efforts of our fall 2023 interns, Seth and Catherine. In this Impact Report, you’ll read first-hand accounts of their conversations with “Helen” and “Lisa.” You can see both interns in action in the banner image and at the end of this post. Catherine will continue to volunteer with JFA in the coming months, and Seth is now raising support to work full-time as a Training Specialist. We thank God for these talented pro-life advocates, and we thank God for your partnership that has helped them make an impact.

You can still give a year-end gift at www.jfaweb.org/donate, or you can give a year-end gift by mail using the enclosed giving form and envelope. To receive a 2023 donation receipt, make sure gifts are submitted online or postmarked by December 31, 2023. Merry Christmas!

-Steve Wagner

IF WE HAD NOT GONE…

By Catherine Gimino, Fall 2023 Intern

“Helen” was unsure of her words, not just because we had interrupted her morning walk to class with an unexpected survey on abortion, but also because she was a foreign exchange student and new to speaking English. Despite this added difficulty with an already culturally-loaded topic, she was very willing to talk. I began by asking her questions to understand her view on abortion. Her view was that the unborn is not human until birth and so abortion at any stage is acceptable.

I walked her through what biology teaches us about the unborn, showing her that they are human beings starting at fertilization. I used Trot Out The Toddler and the Equal Rights Argument, tools taught by JFA to keep the conversation focused and to show that the unborn are human beings with an equal right to life. My attempts to clearly lay out the arguments were far from perfect. Despite feeling discouraged by my lack of eloquence, I kept going.

I eventually asked my coworker Kristina to jump in. She asked Helen, “Based off of what you’ve heard, do you think differently about abortion?” Helen responded saying that abortion should be illegal through all nine months and that she would support pro-life laws!

After Helen left, we debriefed the conversation. I told Kristina that I thought I could have explained things more clearly, but Kristina refocused me on the big picture: “That was a total mind change! By talking to you she went from thinking all abortion is okay to being against abortion. That is really awesome!” Then I realized something. If we had not gone out to WSU and asked Helen to participate in a JFA survey, her usual walk to class would have remained uninterrupted, and she would not have learned the truth about abortion that morning.

I trust God will bring a lot of fruit from this “interruption.”

A Conversation at Mankato

By Seth Wiesner, Fall 2023 Intern

In October I was doing outreach with the JFA team at Minnesota State University in Mankato. I started a conversation with a young woman named “Lisa.” She quickly became angry and began raising her voice. Suddenly she exclaimed, “I wish I had been aborted!”

Sensing that this issue was very personal to her, I took a step back from the questions I typically ask in order to challenge a person’s view. Instead I simply asked questions to try to understand her perspective. Asking questions about her beliefs not only helped me understand her position, but also demonstrated my care for her as a person. It gave me the opportunity to learn about her background, and this helped me discover the unspoken reasons that influenced her position.

Using this approach, we discussed her views on many different topics including the resurrection of Jesus. By the end of our conversation, she had softened her demeanor and her pro-choice views considerably. She accepted JFA’s “Invitation to Dialogue” brochure when I offered it to her and told me she was open to being pro-life. Thanks be to God. (See www.jfaweb.org/brochure to view and download the brochure.)

There is a great need for people to understand the truth about abortion. There are many out there, especially young adults, who haven’t been taught well and need someone to help them see how appalling abortion is. My conversation with Lisa is an example of how asking questions with an open heart and listening to understand can change the course of a conversation and lead people closer to the truth.

Flipping Tables in the Courtyard

My team spent three days at Boise State University in August. Although abortion is banned in Idaho, most of the students who voted on our poll were pro-choice, suggesting that the laws are vulnerable to change.

A female student at Boise State University charged towards me and, with all her might, tried to rip the “No” sign off our poll table. Everyone’s attention turned to her. She seemed to have zero shame. I contemplated calling the police but first wanted to give her a chance to redeem herself, if she was willing. Whatever I would say, I needed to avoid adding more fuel to the fire.

Kristina: It looks like you’re very passionate about this issue. Would you be open to sharing why?

Like many students I meet on campus, she was angry that her perceived right to abortion was up for debate. As she spoke, I built rapport by acknowledging any common ground we had and refraining from challenging her accusations. She must have realized that I wasn’t her enemy because she started to cool down.

Changing the subject, she asked:

Student: Are you one of those homophobic people?

Kristina: I do think that marriage is for a man and a woman. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to share why.

Student: Jesus taught love and kindness. I just wish more people were kind to each other.

Kristina: I do, too. Do you think, though, that trying to damage our display exhibited kindness?

Her face flushed with embarrassment.

Student: I am so sorry about that. I just had a “flipping tables in the temple” moment. I was angry, and when I get angry, I can hardly control myself.

Her demeanor continued to soften.

As I asked more questions about her life, I learned that she was raised in the Episcopalian church, her parents were divorced, and her dad had a boyfriend.

Student: Jesus preached against judging people, and he actually thought highly of women. He was even kind to prostitutes.

Kristina: He did treat women well, which was countercultural at the time. In the story of the woman caught in adultery, he challenged the Pharisees who were accusing her by saying, “Let the man without sin cast the first stone.” But do you know what he did afterwards?

Student: No, what did he do?

Kristina: He said to the adulterous woman, “Go, and sin no more.” He taught repentance. So Jesus’ full message is faith in him accompanied by love and repentance. We have to turn from our sin.

Student: What does “sin” mean?

She seemed to know so much, yet so little at the same time, but she was enthusiastic to learn.

I walked her through the story of the fall in the Garden of Eden, how each of us has disobeyed God by violating the moral law, and how Jesus is the only way to freedom from sin. I also shared why marriage is a covenant that can only exist between a man and a woman. While she didn’t agree with my explanation, she didn’t argue with it either.

Kristina: Would it be alright if I prayed with you right now?

Student: Sure!

Click here for a Printable Version including a reflection on this story from Executive Director, Steve Wagner.

We bowed our heads. I thanked God for our conversation and the unique gifts that He gave her. I also asked that her heart would be opened to knowing Jesus and to turning from the sin in her life. Then it was time for her next class.

Student: I learned a lot today, and I really appreciated this conversation. Again, I am so sorry for trying to damage your display.

It was like the woman I met earlier that morning was a new person! We said our goodbyes and parted ways.

Thank you for your prayers and support as I continue in this mission. It’s through experiences like these that I know the Holy Spirit is with my team and moving in the people with whom we speak. God generously gives second chances, and witnessing the character growth of this student was a humbling reminder of the countless redemptive opportunities He continues to offer me (and every one of us!).

"Hey You! You're a Gender Traitor!"

In a conversation at Cal State San Marcos in October

I was in the middle of a conversation at Texas State University awhile ago, and a woman singled me out and yelled, “Hey you! You’re a gender traitor!” She proceeded to swear at me as she walked by. While this wasn’t a pleasant experience, when it came to mind recently I thought of Proverbs 20:5 which says, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.”

Sometimes our lives intersect with other people at times when they are deeply suffering and struggling. When we bring up difficult topics they may react in very negative ways. I’m not saying that’s what was going on with this woman. I didn’t get to talk to her, so I don’t know. There are some people who just want to deride and attack those with whom they disagree, and it’s not a great use of our time to try to engage them. But that is not the norm. I think we should give people the benefit of the doubt in these situations. We all have bad moments, and being on the receiving end of someone else’s bad moment gives us an opportunity to extend God’s grace to them.

I was at the University of Northern Colorado in September, and I asked a woman who was signing our poll if she wanted to share her thoughts about abortion. She put the pen down, looked at me, and in some colorful language basically said she didn’t care what other people thought so she would be happy to talk. I remember hoping the interaction would end quickly because I assumed it wasn’t going to go well. But I was wrong. It ended up being my best conversation that week, and I got to tell her about Jesus!

Proverbs 19:11 tells us that it is our “glory to overlook an offense.” I have found that if I don’t react to mean or dismissive comments, and I genuinely try to understand the people in front of me, I have a better chance to get to know them, their story, and why they believe what they do. Oftentimes this gives me the opportunity to challenge their false beliefs more effectively and point them to the truth.

Give people second chances. Third chances. Even fourth chances. Don’t give up on them too quickly. What is going on inside of people is like that deep well we read about in Proverbs 20:5. We are not going to get to the bottom quickly. Many people are angry, hurt, confused, and lost. That may make for some rough beginnings to our conversations, but that’s okay.

I am entering my fifth year with Justice For All, and I’m so thankful for your financial support and prayers that make my work possible. In Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis says, “If there were no help from Christ, there would be no help from other human beings.” God works through you and me to help the people He puts in my path, whether I’m talking to students on campus, sidewalk counseling at the abortion clinic, teaching at our workshops, or meeting with local ministry leaders to plan events. I’m grateful for all of the opportunities I have to help others as they wrestle with questions surrounding why human beings, born and unborn, should be protected and loved. Thank you for investing in me. I couldn’t do this without you.

Is Abortion just a Choice?

After our team finished setting up at Colorado State University for the day, I walked over to our poll table which asked the question, “Should Abortion Remain Legal?”

A young man I’ll call “David” walked over and signed the yes side. After I greeted him, I began to ask him about his beliefs. He believed the unborn is human, and he did not like abortion. Nevertheless, he felt that abortion should be legal because he did not want the government controlling what we can and cannot do. Our conversation went something like this:

Outreach at Palomar College in California October 2023

Andrea: I agree with you that choice is important. Obviously, we live in America where we have many freedoms. It is important to be able to make choices as long as these choices do not harm other human beings.

David: Yeah, I get that.

Andrea: We probably agree that murder, rape, and child abuse is wrong and should not be legal, right?

David: Yes.

Andrea: We have laws in place against those actions to protect human beings from harm. For example, it is illegal for someone to come to this campus and start shooting because that “choice” would harm other human beings. It is the same with the abortion issue. Since the unborn is a living human being, abortion is a choice that takes the life of an innocent human being.

David: Wow! I have never thought about it that way. That makes sense.

Andrea: Another way to think about it is to imagine that we have two buckets. One bucket is full of choices like your favorite ice cream flavor, what degree you want to get, your favorite sport, and so forth. These would be personal preferences. I think we agree that we should have the freedom to make those choices. The other bucket is full of choices that harm another human being, like murder, rape, and child abuse. Which bucket would you say abortion belongs in? (Read more about how my colleague Tammy Cook came up with this two-bucket analogy at www.jfaweb.org/two-buckets)

David: Oh…I would have to say that abortion belongs in the bucket of choices that harm another human being!

I often talk to people like David who believe the unborn is a living human being and believe abortion is wrong, but also think it should be legal because they feel it is merely a personal preference. It is helpful to point out why abortion should be illegal. Since the unborn is a living human being, elective abortion kills an innocent child. Therefore, elective abortion should not be legal.

As we enter the Thanksgiving and Christmas season, I want to thank you for all your prayers and support. As I reflect back on all God has done this year, I am in awe. It has been incredible to see Him at work. It is people like you who make it possible for me to have these conversations and to help JFA behind the scenes as we work to train many Christians to do the same! If you are not part of my support team, please prayerfully consider joining by giving an end-of-year gift or a monthly pledge.

One Person Can Change the World

Train One to Reach One, then Pray for Each One

In my October letter, I asked readers to make a monthly pledge, recommend JFA to a friend, and commit to pray for JFA. Read or share this important letter.

In this Impact Report, we share names and pictures of some of the people with whom our team interacted in 2023. Would you post this list somewhere in your home and pray that God will help each of these people to love the unborn, hate elective abortion, and accept God’s love?

To view more pictures and read recent stories of conversations, see our blog.

As you consider your year-end giving, would you make a special gift to JFA to help our team train many more Christians to reach the people God puts in their path? Thank you!

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Pray with us for…

Or, you can download, print, and post this list somewhere in your home to remind you to pray. 

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Because One Person Can Change the World

There are four senses in which “one person can change the world.” Ultimately, we believe Jesus Christ is the one Person who changes the world for the better. This is why we exist and why we train Christians to depend on Christ to make change. In addition, each person trained, each life saved, and each person listed below also represents one person who can change the world, by God’s power. Each person is worthy of respect and protection and investment, even if he or she may never change the world in a positive way. It is true, though, that each person JFA reaches could play a pivotal role in changing the world for the better. We thank God that we can partner with you in training Christians to reach one person at a time.

Will You Partner with Us through a Monthly Pledge?

October 2023 Letter from the Executive Director

Students at the University of Northern Colorado (UNC) recently invited Justice For All (JFA) to help them reach their campus. Madelyn Biggers, the president of the club, reflected on the event:

“Partnering with JFA was a great experience for the UNC Students for Life… The seminar was very informative and the best pro-life training I’ve ever attended… The instructors were knowledgeable and compassionate. Tabling on campus was a great learning experience, and we definitely got a lot of people talking about abortion. I would love to host JFA again in the future!”

Madelyn’s experience is just one example of how God is using the JFA team to train Christians, nurture leaders, and get people thinking clearly about abortion. Our paid internship program is another (see our fall interns, Seth and Catherine, below).

To train more people, the JFA team has been at work in nine states this fall, including three universities new to JFA*. See recent stories of changed minds and hearts below, and see pictures from recent events at www.instagram.com/picturejusticeforall.

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Interns Catherine Gimino (left) and Seth Wiesner (left of center) interact with UNC students.

To continue to invest in leaders like Madelyn, Seth, and Catherine, we need your help. Each of our trainers raises personal support, and their travel, food, laptop, and other essentials are covered by our other giving designations. Each of our trainers and programs needs prayer and increased support, so now is a great time to partner with us. (Learn more about our current needs at www.jfaweb.org/invest.)

Will you make a monthly pledge of financial support or commit to increasing your support? (Set up a recurring bank transaction or credit card transaction at our Donate page. Or, call the number below.)

If you are already giving at the level you can, thank you. You are so important to our team! Would you pass this letter on to one friend with your recommendation that JFA is worthy of support?

Are you unable to give at this time? Please commit to pray for a team member or the entire team.

Use the enclosed form or go to the JFA Donate page to make a commitment to pray or give. Or, you can call our office (316.683.6426) so that our wonderful office manager, Eva Heath, can assist you.

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Recent Stories of Changed Hearts and Minds

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Click here to see recent outreach events at Instagram

Click here to go to Instagram to see recent outreach events.

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Recent and Upcoming Outreach Events

Note: Interactive workshops preceded all events listed below.

8/28-30 * Boise State University (ID)

9/18-20 University of Northern Colorado (CO)

10/2-3 * Minnesota State Univ. Mankato (MN)

10/9-11 CSU San Marcos & Palomar College (CA)

10/18 * Christopher Newport University (VA)

10/30 University of Central Oklahoma (OK)

10/31-11/1 University of North Texas (TX)

11/13-15 University of Texas at Austin (TX)

Thinking about the Unborn Child for the First Time

Stacey walked up to our outreach signs looking curious. We were standing on a busy walkway at Palomar College (CA) in December. I asked a few questions about her thoughts on abortion, and she clarified that she thought abortion should be legal until birth. Here’s my recollection of the rest of the conversation:

Steve: Do you believe abortion should be legal because you believe a woman has a right to her body?

Stacey: Yes. A woman’s right to her body is really important to me.

Steve: I agree that a woman has a right to her body, generally speaking, and I agree that’s really important. Women’s bodily rights have been trampled on and continue to be trampled on throughout the world with practices like slavery, rape, and domestic violence. I think those things are horrific and wrong.

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Palomar College Outreach in December 2022: Steve (center, black shirt) and other JFA staff members interact with students.

Stacey: I agree.

Steve: Do you agree with me that a woman’s bodily rights are not simply created or determined by the state? Instead, they’re fundamental. They’re like other human rights. If the state didn’t protect those rights, the state would be wrong.

Stacey: Yes, that’s true.

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Pages 4-5 of JFA’s Invitation to Dialogue Brochure.

Steve: I have some pictures over here that might be helpful to our conversation. [I showed her the signs that show pages four and five of the Invitation to Dialogue Brochure.] Look at this young woman pictured here. Can we agree that she has bodily rights that the state should respect?

Stacey: I agree with that.

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JFA’s setup at the National Mall on April 26-27 included the signs Steve referred to in his conversation with Stacey.

Steve: Now, what about this toddler? I assume we would agree he shouldn’t be killed. Can we agree he has bodily rights that are fundamental?

Stacey: Yes.

Steve: So the woman and the toddler have the same bodily rights. And those rights are fundamental, so the situation would have to reach a really high bar to justify limiting something so important as a person’s bodily rights. Perhaps the only legitimate way the state could limit those rights is if these people were using their bodies to take away someone else’s bodily rights.

Stacey: That’s a good point.

Steve: Does it make sense to you that if their rights are fundamental, they had them from the moment they began to exist? When did this toddler begin to exist?

Stacey: That makes sense, but I guess I’m not sure. What do you think?

Steve: Well, from fertilization [pointing at image on sign], when the sperm and the egg came together, both ceased to exist, and a new organism came into existence. All that’s been added from then until the toddler stage is food. If we have something as important as fundamental human rights now, I don’t think we could gain those rights by eating. So, I think the woman and the toddler began to exist at fertilization, and that’s also when they gained their fundamental right to their bodies. But that would mean that the embryo has a fundamental right to his body just like the toddler and the woman.

Our conversation continued for ten minutes or so. (Indeed, Stacey contributed much more detailed responses than what my memory has allowed me to include here.) We discussed how the embryo is very different from us (in looks and functions) but is also the same kind of being that we are—a being with the same human nature we have. If this is true, the woman’s fundamental right to her body would not include the right to abortion, because then abortion would be killing a human being with the same bodily rights.

As Stacey got ready to move on from the conversation, she eagerly accepted a copy of the Invitation to Dialogue Brochure that included the same pictures we had been discussing. What she said in parting really surprised me:

Stacey: I never thought about the fetus as a separate person—that it has its own rights we would be taking away. I’ll have to think about that!

At the beginning of this conversation, Stacey sounded completely pro-choice, and frankly, I think I suspected she wouldn’t have much interest in an alternative opinion. She showed the exact opposite throughout our conversation. It’s a lesson I’ve learned again and again: Don’t make assumptions from appearances.

As I found common ground with Stacey repeatedly about bodily rights, showing relational sensitivity to the emotionally heavy topic of what a woman can do with her body, I think she became open to my perspective about the unborn child. That’s the sequence we teach any chance we can: Be relational…then be intellectual. That approach helped Stacey to consider the possibility there was a whole other person involved in the abortion question, and she showed genuine interest in thinking further about that.

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Note: This letter is the second in a series of letters on conversation skills we teach volunteers that help them get started having conversations and encourage them to stay active. See “Be a Playmaker” (Feb. 2023) for the first in the series. (March 2024 Update: The third letter in the series, “Only Two Questions?” has just been published. Read it here.)

Recent Campus Conversations

April 2023 Impact Report

In this Impact Report compiled by Rebekah Dyer, we share pictures from recent events, along with brief conversation reflections from Rebekah and two other JFA trainers, Kaitlyn and Andrea. In January, February, and March, we conducted outreach on 17 days at nine campuses in six states: CSU Fullerton (CA), Palomar College (CA), Univ. of Arizona (AZ), Univ. of Texas at Austin (TX), Texas State (TX), Univ. of Cincinnati (OH), Univ. of Texas at San Antonio (TX), Wichita State (KS), and Newman Univ. (KS). Thank you for partnering with us financially and for praying for our work. -- Steve Wagner, Executive Director

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CSU Fullerton (CA) — Jan. 2023 — Jon (left) and Rebekah (right) interact with students during our first outreach event of the year.

Experiencing the Unexpected

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Univ. of Arizona (AZ) — Feb. 2023 — Paul (blue sweatshirt) talks to students near the JFA poll table. (Also visible in background: Kristina and Rebekah)

“Have you had a lot of conversations about abortion before, and, if so, how have they gone for you?” I often ask this question on campus, and people’s answers give me important background information about their experiences talking about abortion. At the University of New Mexico, I met two students who were reluctant to talk to me because they had had such bad experiences voicing their opinions in the past. One young woman told me she felt like she was shaking at some point in our conversation. Another student told me he had never heard a good argument for the pro-life position, and he was only familiar with people yelling and holding signs. I asked him if he’d be open to hearing a good argument and when he said yes, I presented the equal rights argument. At the end of our conversations, both of these students thanked me for the conversation and how I treated them.

I was grateful for the opportunity to give these students a good experience talking about abortion. I hope it will help them to be more open to the next person God places in their path to continue the dialogue. Conversations about abortion are important because people inside and outside the womb matter so much. – Rebekah Dyer

Loving Those Who Differ

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Univ. of Texas at San Antonio (TX) — Feb. 2023 — Gavin (yellow) logged lots of conversations during eight days of JFA outreach from January to March. You can join us for a mission trip, too: www.jfaweb.org/mission-trips.

While the JFA team was doing outreach at Texas State in San Marcos, a young man I’ll call Mark stopped by. Mark was reserved and quiet. When I asked him if he had thoughts about abortion he said he didn’t want to get into it. I nodded and began asking questions about his life to show him I cared. I asked what he was studying and where he was from, if he had a community on campus, and what his dreams were for the future. Through these questions I learned that he is intelligent and thoughtful but very shy and deeply lonely. I also gained his trust. Eventually we did begin discussing abortion. We also talked for a long time about Christianity and the gospel. Early in our conversation Mark seemed tentative, and I thought he might leave at any moment, but as I listened and asked questions he relaxed, and we talked for over two hours. It became clear that he was starved for conversation and compassion. Many of us struggle to start conversations because we assume people don’t want to have this kind of conversation. Over and over I have found the opposite to be true. Like Mark, many people in our culture are deeply lonely and would love to have a real conversation with someone who cares. – Kaitlyn Donihue

An Open Heart Towards the Gospel

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Univ. of Cincinnati (OH) — Feb. 2023 — Mary (grey, facing away from camera) and Kaitlyn (right) engage students at our outreach event in Cincinnati.

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Univ. of New Mexico (NM) — Mar. 2023 — JFA trainers Jeremy (left, red) and Andrea (center) interact with students in Albuquerque.

At the University of New Mexico outreach, Isaac was standing at our kiosk looking at the images of the unborn. I approached him and asked if he had any thoughts about abortion. Isaac said he believed that abortion should be legal, especially when a child is not wanted. I asked him questions, and we talked through the “Trot out the Toddler” analogy, as well as evidence from biology showing that the unborn is a human being. I then shared images of abortion with him. As the conversation progressed, Isaac agreed that the unborn are living human beings. I challenged him by saying, “We just agreed that the unborn are living human beings, so if that is true, would you agree the unborn deserves equal rights, at least in the basic right to life?” Indicating that his heart and mind were changing, he responded, “Yes, I would agree with that.” We then proceeded to have an extensive conversation about his spiritual beliefs. I had the opportunity to share the hope of the gospel with him, and I gave him the gospel of John. He was excited to read it and told me that he was going to journal about it afterwards. – Andrea Thenhaus

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Do you receive email updates from JFA’s prayer team coordinator, Mary Biegler, with specific prayer requests for upcoming events? See www.jfaweb.org/pray to sign up.

Be a Playmaker

Banner: Photo by Jeffrey F Lin on Unsplash

I was playing soccer with my kids recently and something happened twice during our game that sticks in my memory. In both instances, I was only about halfway across our front yard soccer field and received a pass in the center. In order to have a better chance of surprising the other team (a worthy aim), I fired the ball towards the goal without trapping the ball first. One touch. Sadly, in both cases my decision to be a hotshot led to missing the goal completely. I gave the other team a goal kick.

We saw the same mistake multiple times in the World Cup a few months ago. A player would take a shot from too far out, or he would try to dribble through five defenders. He acted like he was a one-man show, and his whole team paid for it with a missed opportunity.

Contrast this with a different approach to the game, one in which the player looks to be a “playmaker.” He is satisfied to pass the ball to another player who has a better angle and can move the ball down the field by passing to yet another player who sends it on to another player, and because each player was satisfied to play his part, the ball ends up in the net.

It’s the same in our conversations about abortion. We’re aiming to help the person change his or her mind completely, meaning he or she develops a hatred for elective abortion and a willingness to act to change the hearts and minds of others. But our job in each conversation is to see ourselves as a part of a team, a network of advocates who influence a person in successive opportunities that God provides.

This gives us great comfort just as it gives us our marching orders. If we don’t see the goal reached during our conversation, we are satisfied to give the person something to think about—a pebble in the shoe, as Greg Koukl at Stand to Reason says (see str.org for more).

If our personal, individual purpose in the “game,” then, isn't necessarily to see the end goal accomplished but rather to take the opportunity God gives us and to “move the ball forward” for the person with whom we’re talking, this helps us assess our performance. Did we represent Christ well? Did we use His manner? Were we skillfully maneuvering in conversation in a way that sought to help the person be more likely to change his or her mind as soon as possible?

If I had been more patient in my soccer game with my kids, I would have been satisfied to move the ball around the field more and more as we got closer and closer to the goal. Ironically, it is this approach that would have put the ball in the back of the net more quickly.

This is one of the things we teach volunteers so they don’t get discouraged. We encourage them to keep the goal in view and to be satisfied to play their part. This is more realistic, and it places only the appropriate level of burden on the volunteer. This approach is better for volunteers, and it will also accomplish the goal of making abortion unthinkable more completely for more people. We patiently see ourselves as members of a team, serving under the direction of one Coach, and we are satisfied to ask the right question or present the bit of evidence that seems most helpful in the moment. This gives the person the best opportunity to reconsider his or her perspective, many times completely apart from our watchful eye.

March 2024 Update: This letter is the first in a series of letters on conversation skills we teach volunteers that help them get started having conversations and encourage them to stay active. The second in the series was published in May 2023 (“Thinking about the Unborn Child for the First Time”), and the third in the series was published in March 2024 (“Only Two Questions?”).

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Recent Presentation at SFLA’s National Pro-Life Summit

What did Kristina Massa share with 2000 people? Watch the presentation at www.youtube.com/picturejusticeforall

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Recent and Upcoming Events

1/21 Presentation—National Pro-Life Summit—Kristina, Steve

1/21 Presentation—Anglicans for Life Summit—Steve

1/23-25 Outreach—Fullerton College—Jon, Jeremy, Rebekah, Andrea

1/20-22 Deeper Still Retreat—Kaitlyn

1/31 Outreach—Univ. of Texas, Austin—Jon, Jeremy

2/11 Interactive Seminar—Christ Community Church—Kristina, Andrea, Rebekah, Steve

2/12 Presentations—Christ Community Church—Andrea, Rebekah, Steve

2/13-15 Outreach—Univ. of Arizona—Kristina, Paul, Steve, Andrea, Rebekah

2/16-17 Interactive Workshops—San Francisco Area, California—Kristina

2/20-23 Outreach—Univ. of Texas at San Antonio & Texas State Univ.—Jeremy, Kaitlyn, Jon, Mary

3/2 Outreach—Palomar College in Southern California—Rebekah

3/5-8 Seminar and Outreach Events in Albuquerque, New Mexico—Paul, Rebekah, Jeremy, Kristina, Andrea

3/13-15 Love3 Online Interactive Workshops (Register Now!)—JFA Training Team

3/19-22 Seminar and Outreach Events in Wichita, Kansas—Paul, Jon, Kristina, Tammy

3/31-4/5 Seminar and Outreach Events in Colorado—Durango, Colorado Springs, and Alamosa—JFA Training Team

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Recent Outreach Event at University of Arizona

See pictures of recent events at www.instagram.com/picturejusticeforall

The Impact of a Single Conversation

Recently I was at Wichita State University (WSU) for outreach when two young men approached my colleague Tammy Cook and me at our poll table. Tammy asked, “Do either of you have any thoughts on abortion?” One student shared that he is pro-life. The other (whom I’ll call “Dillon”) said something that surprised Tammy and me:

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Bella (right, gray sweatshirt) and Kristina (left, seated) talk to students during JFA’s February 2022 outreach event at Wichita State University (WSU).

“I used to be pro-choice, but I had a three-hour conversation about abortion with someone last school year. She pulverized all of my arguments. When I realized I couldn’t respond to anything she said even in my head, I knew I had to change my mind.”

Bella O’Neill (seated) discusses abortion with a student during JFA’s outreach event at the University of Texas at San Antonio in February 2022.

The “someone” he was referring to was my former colleague, Bella O’Neill. Their conversation had taken place six months earlier (February 2022). What began as a simple one-on-one survey with questions related to human rights turned into a comprehensive discourse with five other pro-choice advocates challenging her pro-life position. What’s fascinating is that Dillon showed no sign of shifting his view throughout the duration of their discussion. If he had never come back, we wouldn’t have known that he had re-evaluated his stance.

“You changed your mind after that one conversation?” Tammy asked.

Tammy Cook listens to a student at Wichita State University (WSU) in February 2022.

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Kristina interacts with a WSU student in February 2022 in front of JFA’s “Where Do You Draw the Line?” Kiosk and Free Speech Board.

“Yeah, she had a really good response to everything I said. If this was a debate, she definitely won.”

Dillon kept reiterating how well Bella had made her case.

“Did you know that…more babies are killed by abortion than there were victims of the Holocaust?” Dillon asked.

The rawness of his question caught me off guard. Not only was he suggesting that abortion is an injustice; he was implying that it’s a genocide.

After his newfound pro-life conviction had proven itself authentic, I decided to challenge him with a more sophisticated pro-choice argument—an argument from bodily autonomy. Within a matter of seconds, he started breaking it down to explain why it wouldn’t justify abortion.

Dillon’s story is an important reminder that the impact of a single conversation is often hidden. It can be discouraging when we don’t get to witness the fruits of our labor, but God occasionally rewards us with follow-up conversations like this one to affirm that, by His grace, our efforts are not in vain. With each conversation, we must persistently pray that He will continue the conversation in their minds after we “leave them with a pebble in their shoe” (as apologist Greg Koukl says).

Dillon’s story also demonstrates the critical need for all pro-life people to prayerfully work up the courage to talk about abortion. So many of our peers are eagerly searching for truth. They desire an honest conversation that challenges the assumptions behind their current beliefs. Unfortunately, many of them have never had the chance to discuss their beliefs in a healthy way. Their opportunity to get closer to truth may begin with you.

If you would like to learn the conversation skills that Bella used with Dillon, please consider signing up for Love3, JFA’s online interactive workshop series. We will teach you how to respond to common pro-choice arguments all in the context of being a loving ambassador for Christ. You can get more information and register for free at www.jfaweb.org/love3.

Bella’s courage to talk about abortion gave Dillon an opportunity to encounter truth. And because of Dillon’s desire to seek truth, he concluded that abortion is not merely a choice—it’s the destruction of a person with rights. Please join me in prayerful thanksgiving for Bella saying “Yes!” to God’s invitation to talk to Dillon, as well as Dillon’s “Yes!” to humbly allowing the conversation to change his mind.

– Kristina Massa, for the JFA Team

Note: Kristina originally sent this story to supporters in September 2022.

One Person at a Time

In this Impact Report, we share the names and pictures of some of the people with whom our team interacted in 2022. Please join us in praying that God will take the seeds we planted and change the world, one person at a time. Pray each person would love and protect the children in their care. Pray for healing from past hurts, and pray each heart would become open to God.

Would you join us in committing to pray for each of these people in the coming months?

You can use the images below (7 total) to pray through the list from your phone or other device with us this year?

Or, you can download, print, and post this list somewhere in your home to remind you to pray.

Click on the image or click here to download a pdf (both pages included) you can print and post in your home to remind you to pray with us.

Click on the image or click here to download a pdf (both pages included) you can print and post in your home to remind you to pray with us.

To view more pictures and read recent stories of conversations, see other recent posts on the JFA blog.

There’s still time to give a year-end gift to help Justice For All train many Christians to reach one person at a time in 2023. Thank you for supporting our team and for praying along with us.

Picture: How Two Minds Changed

November 2022 Impact Report

Before they step foot on campus, our interns and volunteers are trained to be faithful to God as his ambassadors, to leave the results of each conversation to him, and to be ready to not always see impact. Still, we hope their first experience can include some glimpses of change in the way people think, feel, and act regarding abortion. To support them, our veteran team members make it their highest priority to serve as mentors at our outreach events. In this Impact Report, JFA intern Hannah Cook shares the story of her first outreach day in August. Along the way, you’ll see the important role JFA trainers Mary and Tammy played in helping Hannah experience success. Thank you for praying for and supporting the work of our trainers, volunteers, and interns. God is changing the world through them, one conversation at a time. (See the JFA Blog for other recent stories of impact.) - Steve Wagner, Executive Director

I wanted to run away.

We had just about finished setting up our outreach displays at Wichita State University (WSU) when a girl gestured to our “Should Abortion Remain Legal?” poll table and said, “What are you guys doing here? I thought we already voted on this.” She was referring to the “Value Them Both” Amendment that had been soundly defeated in the Kansas Primary Election four weeks earlier. My foggy brain immediately snapped to attention as I sensed the edge in her voice. She was clearly irritated. I couldn’t tell if her condescending smile was a half-hearted attempt at cordiality or simply a way of insulting us further. In any case, I could tell that she was ready for a fight. One wrong word from us, and she would pounce. I felt adrenaline rush through my body as my heart began pounding. I looked to Mary Biegler who was standing next to me, hoping she would know what to say. I was thankful that she did.

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Hannah (right) discusses the images in the JFA brochure with a student at Oklahoma State University in October 2022.

As Mary calmly began explaining that we were aiming to have productive conversations about abortion, I relaxed a little, hoping that the girl would have an open heart and mind. She did not. She questioned and challenged Mary at every turn, refusing to give an inch. At this point a guy walked up and joined the conversation. He listened for a few minutes, echoed the girl’s sentiments, and added his own challenges. We talked about bodily rights, the question of rape, and the central question, “What is the unborn?” No matter what we said, though, it was like trying to reason with brick walls. Nothing was getting through. Our arguments were cast aside and rejected. A mix of frustration, discouragement, and hopelessness swirled through me as I tried to keep up with the onslaught of objections being hurled at us. This was nothing like the life-changing encounters I had been reading about all week from other JFA interns and trainers. What happened to the nice open-minded discussions that left me feeling warm and fuzzy inside? At that moment, I wanted to flee the scene, drive the 19 hours back to my peaceful hometown in Idaho, and never talk to another pro-choice person again.

Well, it turned out that I was able to escape – not back to Idaho but at least out of that conversation. Someone asked for directions, and I stepped away to help her. A little while later, I noticed three guys standing nearby listening to a conversation at the outreach. They seemed interested in the topic, so I asked if they had any thoughts about abortion. They told me that they were from Zimbabwe and that abortion really isn’t talked about there. Their names were Chimdi, Denzel, and Bryan.

Denzel and Bryan said they were personally pro-life but that abortion should still be legal. Chimdi didn’t think it should be legal. When I asked Denzel and Bryan if they thought there should be any restrictions on abortion, Bryan told me that he thought the cut-off should be five months gestation. “Why did you pick that specific point?” I asked. He replied, “Because by then they have arms and legs and everything.”

When I heard this, I knew that he needed to see pictures of fetal development because the features he was describing appear so much earlier than five months. When I showed Bryan and the others that arms and legs are clearly present at seven weeks post-fertilization, they were all shocked. Immediately Bryan switched his cut-off point to three months gestation. I was amazed at such quick progress. It showed me the power of pictures. We talked some more, and I trotted out the toddler to help us focus on the question, “What is the unborn?” Even so, they still held pretty firmly to the belief that a woman should have a right to choose. Meanwhile, Tammy Cook had come up and was listening to our conversation. She later told me that she was there to be a support, and she wasn’t planning to say anything unless I asked her.

The conversation had been productive so far, but I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I turned to Tammy and asked what she thought. She asked all of us to imagine two buckets filled with different choices. The first bucket contains personal preferences like which foods you eat, what college you attend, and with whom you choose to spend time. The second bucket contains choices that harm people – choices like rape, child abuse, and murder. She noted that there should be legal restrictions on the second bucket of choices because those particular choices harm other human beings. She then asked which bucket abortion belonged in. They all said that it belonged in the second bucket. I was amazed and delighted – even more progress! (For more about the “Two Buckets” analogy, see www.jfaweb.org/two-buckets.)

Tammy’s “Two Buckets” analogy had definitely put us on the right track, but Bryan was still resistant. He said that the reason people don’t care about abortion in the same way that they would care about a toddler being killed is because they can’t see abortion. He almost said it in a way that justified his own position about abortion – suggesting that he too thought it was okay because he couldn’t see it. I suddenly knew what I needed to say. I asked the three of them if they had heard about Emmett Till, the black boy who was murdered for allegedly “whistling at a white woman” in the South in the 1950’s. I was a little surprised when they nodded and said that yes, they knew of him. (For a good introduction to the story, watch the trailer of the newly-released movie, Till.) After briefly recapping the story, I was able to explain that when Emmett’s mother physically opened the casket of her maimed and disfigured son, she metaphorically opened the casket on racism, and the whole world saw racism for the evil and horrific thing that it was. No longer was racism hidden from public view – it was on full display and could not so easily be denied or minimized. Then I said, “I actually have some pictures of the results of abortion with me. Are you willing to look at them?” Denzel was the first to view the brochure, followed by Chimdi. Bryan refused to look, but the connection between Emmett Till and abortion was sinking in.

The next thing I knew they were all agreeing that abortion should not be legal at any point. I was overjoyed. One conversation had resulted in a complete change of heart and mind for these students. Regardless of whether people change their mind, it’s still worthwhile to have conversations with them, but it is such a gift when we do get to see change take place. It was a great encouragement as I continued having conversations with other students who were not so quick to change.

I also realize that if I had chosen to run away after that initial conversation, I never would have received the blessing of witnessing such a profound transformation of heart and mind in Denzel and Bryan. I thank God for helping me to continue to be faithful even in the midst of discouragement.

– Hannah Cook, for the JFA Team

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Make Your Own Impact by Giving a Year-End Gift

As you consider your year-end giving, please consider giving generously to JFA to help us train more Christians to change more hearts and minds about abortion in 2023. With various state ballot initiatives strengthening abortion rights following the Supreme Court’s Dobbs decision, it’s especially important that we continue our work of changing hearts and minds, one person at a time. Even in the states where unborn children now have legal protection, we see hearts and minds wavering, especially when no one has come alongside to help each person think things through. We’re encouraged, though, because we know that one person can change the world. Each person we train and each person we engage in dialogue can change the world for an unborn child, and each child allowed to live can in turn change the world for others. Above all these, we believe God is the one who really changes minds, heals hearts, and changes the world. Please partner with us as we seek to humbly serve our great God in this work in 2023. You can give online or send a check using the information on our “Mail a Gift” page. Learn more about JFA’s vision and needs for 2023 at our “Invest in JFA” page. Or, call me directly at 316-683-6426 to discuss! - Steve Wagner, Executive Director

The Profound Impact of Asking Questions

Tony, a student at Fort Lewis College in Durango, Colorado, approached our poll table which displayed the

following question: “Should abortion remain legal?” On both sides of the table there were signs that read, “Yes,”

and “No” giving students opportunities to express their views.

Tony immediately started the conversation by announcing, “I don’t think the unborn is a human being, and I don’t think we will ever know if the unborn is a human being.”

Andrea at UTSA Feb. 2022

I inquired: “If I share with you my understanding of the basic biology, would that be helpful?” “Yes,” he responded. “I would like that!”

He seemed very open-minded. I prayed for the Lord to guide our conversation. Here is how it went.

Andrea: If the unborn is growing, would you say that it’s alive?

Tony: Yes.

Andrea: If the unborn has human parents, isn’t a human?

Tony: Of course.

Andrea: Generally, living things produce after their own kind. Dogs produce dogs, cats produce cats, so it would make sense to conclude that humans produce human offspring. So, if the unborn is a living human being like a 2-year-old or like you and me, then would you agree that we should protect the unborn?

Tony: Yes. I see what you are saying.

Andrea: Do you think we as human beings deserve equal rights at least in the basic right to life?

Tony: Of course.

Andrea: I agree. If you look around at everyone here on campus, I believe that each student deserves equal rights, at least in the basic right to life. There are many differences among each student: height, hair color, intellect, abilities, and so forth. Even with these differences there is something that is the same about us, something that gives us that equal right. So, let me ask you: what do you think is the thing that is the same about us?

Tony: It’s that we are human.

Andrea: Exactly! Since we just discussed the fact that the unborn are living human beings, would you agree that we should extend those rights to the unborn at least in the basic right to life?”

Tony: [enthusiastically] Yes! You would have to. I can understand both sides of the issue. My grandma became pregnant with my mom at the age of seventeen. I am glad my grandma had my mom even at a young age. I am thankful she did not decide to get an abortion. Otherwise, I would not be here. However, I grew up very pro-choice. My mom worked for an abortion clinic.

Wow! I knew that if Tony grasped that the unborn is a human being, he would have to come to terms with the fact that his mom had been participating in killing innocent human lives. That would be a hard pill to swallow.

Later in the conversation I asked Tony if he would be willing to look at images of an abortion, since he had never seen them before. He agreed. As he looked at the pictures, I could tell by his demeanor that he was impacted by them. I also shared with him how a third trimester abortion is performed. It was then he realized the travesty of what takes place in an abortion.

After giving him a minute to look at the images, I asked, “Tony, would you say that abortion is a medical procedure, or is abortion taking a life?”

Tony looked at me and responded, “I would have to say that abortion is taking a life.”

Our conversation continued for another thirty minutes. After we discussed abortion, we launched into a conversation about our spiritual beliefs. Tony shared with me what he believed, and then I had the opportunity to talk extensively about the gospel. I shared with him that our sin is what separates us from God. God is holy, and He cannot let sin into heaven. Since no one is perfect, we will all be guilty before God. However, God in His mercy sent His Son to take the punishment for our sins by dying on a cross. He listened intently as I continued to share the Good News with him. Tony was quite receptive to the gospel, and I could tell that he realized his need for a Savior.

I then thanked Tony for taking the time to discuss these two heavy topics. He replied, “Oh, I like having deep conversations. I enjoyed this discussion. I will definitely be thinking about our conversation and everything that we talked about!”

I left the conversation thanking the Lord for the opportunity to talk to Tony. It is important to ask questions not only to understand the other person’s view, but also to gently challenge their perspective. There is power in asking questions. They can be a means by which we plant seeds of truth.

As we near the end of the year, I want to thank each of you who have contributed to my work with JFA over this past year. Your prayers and support have been such a huge blessing in making it possible to reach people like Tony. I am excited to continue to serve the Lord with JFA.