Love One Another

Outreach at UT Austin, November 2023

One morning at Colorado State University, a student I will call “Heather” approached our poll table. Her demeanor was cold, and she matter-of-factly blurted out, “I believe abortion should be legal because many women will die in childbirth. Abortion should be legal for any reason.”

This conversation could definitely be challenging, I thought to myself.

Ellerslie Discipleship Training in Colorado, September 2023

I realized it was important for me to understand what was motivating Heather’s passion, so I began asking her questions. Heather shared with me that she had a rough childhood. Her mom, grandma, and several aunts were single mothers. She had watched them struggle as they tried to make it alone. I spent time acknowledging how hard that must have been.

 As the conversation progressed, I was able to walk through many of the pro-life arguments, and she seemed receptive.

After having a serious discussion about abortion, I began to inquire about her personal life. She was from a different state and had not made many friends at college. I could tell she was lonely and appreciated the opportunity to talk to someone.

At one point, the conversation shifted to spiritual matters. I had the opportunity to share the hope of the gospel with her, and we talked about why we need a Savior. She was quite open to discussing her beliefs with me. I asked Heather if she had a Bible. She told me that she did, but she had not brought it with her to college. I gave her the Gospel of John, which she gladly received.

Throughout the course of the conversation, Heather began to lighten up. At one point we both were laughing as she showed me pictures of her pets and shared stories from her science classes.

By the end of the conversation, I felt like I was talking to a different person. Her whole attitude had changed, and she seemed to be enjoying our time together. Before Heather left, she said, “Thank you so much for having this conversation. This was very meaningful!”

As I reflected on this interaction, I was reminded how important it is to show people that we care about them and to take an interest in their lives. Although Heather did not completely change her mind during our conversation, I am confident that she is more open to discussing pro-life issues. The first step in being able to reach someone is to show them we care. When we begin there, we end up having great opportunities to make a difference in their lives.

Is Abortion just a Choice?

After our team finished setting up at Colorado State University for the day, I walked over to our poll table which asked the question, “Should Abortion Remain Legal?”

A young man I’ll call “David” walked over and signed the yes side. After I greeted him, I began to ask him about his beliefs. He believed the unborn is human, and he did not like abortion. Nevertheless, he felt that abortion should be legal because he did not want the government controlling what we can and cannot do. Our conversation went something like this:

Outreach at Palomar College in California October 2023

Andrea: I agree with you that choice is important. Obviously, we live in America where we have many freedoms. It is important to be able to make choices as long as these choices do not harm other human beings.

David: Yeah, I get that.

Andrea: We probably agree that murder, rape, and child abuse is wrong and should not be legal, right?

David: Yes.

Andrea: We have laws in place against those actions to protect human beings from harm. For example, it is illegal for someone to come to this campus and start shooting because that “choice” would harm other human beings. It is the same with the abortion issue. Since the unborn is a living human being, abortion is a choice that takes the life of an innocent human being.

David: Wow! I have never thought about it that way. That makes sense.

Andrea: Another way to think about it is to imagine that we have two buckets. One bucket is full of choices like your favorite ice cream flavor, what degree you want to get, your favorite sport, and so forth. These would be personal preferences. I think we agree that we should have the freedom to make those choices. The other bucket is full of choices that harm another human being, like murder, rape, and child abuse. Which bucket would you say abortion belongs in? (Read more about how my colleague Tammy Cook came up with this two-bucket analogy at www.jfaweb.org/two-buckets)

David: Oh…I would have to say that abortion belongs in the bucket of choices that harm another human being!

I often talk to people like David who believe the unborn is a living human being and believe abortion is wrong, but also think it should be legal because they feel it is merely a personal preference. It is helpful to point out why abortion should be illegal. Since the unborn is a living human being, elective abortion kills an innocent child. Therefore, elective abortion should not be legal.

As we enter the Thanksgiving and Christmas season, I want to thank you for all your prayers and support. As I reflect back on all God has done this year, I am in awe. It has been incredible to see Him at work. It is people like you who make it possible for me to have these conversations and to help JFA behind the scenes as we work to train many Christians to do the same! If you are not part of my support team, please prayerfully consider joining by giving an end-of-year gift or a monthly pledge.

The Profound Impact of Asking Questions

Tony, a student at Fort Lewis College in Durango, Colorado, approached our poll table which displayed the

following question: “Should abortion remain legal?” On both sides of the table there were signs that read, “Yes,”

and “No” giving students opportunities to express their views.

Tony immediately started the conversation by announcing, “I don’t think the unborn is a human being, and I don’t think we will ever know if the unborn is a human being.”

Andrea at UTSA Feb. 2022

I inquired: “If I share with you my understanding of the basic biology, would that be helpful?” “Yes,” he responded. “I would like that!”

He seemed very open-minded. I prayed for the Lord to guide our conversation. Here is how it went.

Andrea: If the unborn is growing, would you say that it’s alive?

Tony: Yes.

Andrea: If the unborn has human parents, isn’t a human?

Tony: Of course.

Andrea: Generally, living things produce after their own kind. Dogs produce dogs, cats produce cats, so it would make sense to conclude that humans produce human offspring. So, if the unborn is a living human being like a 2-year-old or like you and me, then would you agree that we should protect the unborn?

Tony: Yes. I see what you are saying.

Andrea: Do you think we as human beings deserve equal rights at least in the basic right to life?

Tony: Of course.

Andrea: I agree. If you look around at everyone here on campus, I believe that each student deserves equal rights, at least in the basic right to life. There are many differences among each student: height, hair color, intellect, abilities, and so forth. Even with these differences there is something that is the same about us, something that gives us that equal right. So, let me ask you: what do you think is the thing that is the same about us?

Tony: It’s that we are human.

Andrea: Exactly! Since we just discussed the fact that the unborn are living human beings, would you agree that we should extend those rights to the unborn at least in the basic right to life?”

Tony: [enthusiastically] Yes! You would have to. I can understand both sides of the issue. My grandma became pregnant with my mom at the age of seventeen. I am glad my grandma had my mom even at a young age. I am thankful she did not decide to get an abortion. Otherwise, I would not be here. However, I grew up very pro-choice. My mom worked for an abortion clinic.

Wow! I knew that if Tony grasped that the unborn is a human being, he would have to come to terms with the fact that his mom had been participating in killing innocent human lives. That would be a hard pill to swallow.

Later in the conversation I asked Tony if he would be willing to look at images of an abortion, since he had never seen them before. He agreed. As he looked at the pictures, I could tell by his demeanor that he was impacted by them. I also shared with him how a third trimester abortion is performed. It was then he realized the travesty of what takes place in an abortion.

After giving him a minute to look at the images, I asked, “Tony, would you say that abortion is a medical procedure, or is abortion taking a life?”

Tony looked at me and responded, “I would have to say that abortion is taking a life.”

Our conversation continued for another thirty minutes. After we discussed abortion, we launched into a conversation about our spiritual beliefs. Tony shared with me what he believed, and then I had the opportunity to talk extensively about the gospel. I shared with him that our sin is what separates us from God. God is holy, and He cannot let sin into heaven. Since no one is perfect, we will all be guilty before God. However, God in His mercy sent His Son to take the punishment for our sins by dying on a cross. He listened intently as I continued to share the Good News with him. Tony was quite receptive to the gospel, and I could tell that he realized his need for a Savior.

I then thanked Tony for taking the time to discuss these two heavy topics. He replied, “Oh, I like having deep conversations. I enjoyed this discussion. I will definitely be thinking about our conversation and everything that we talked about!”

I left the conversation thanking the Lord for the opportunity to talk to Tony. It is important to ask questions not only to understand the other person’s view, but also to gently challenge their perspective. There is power in asking questions. They can be a means by which we plant seeds of truth.

As we near the end of the year, I want to thank each of you who have contributed to my work with JFA over this past year. Your prayers and support have been such a huge blessing in making it possible to reach people like Tony. I am excited to continue to serve the Lord with JFA.

Melody's Story

Melody was not supposed to live very long according to what most doctors predicted. However, she is now 9 1/2 years old and thriving!

My sister was born with Trisomy 18.

Trisomy 18 is a genetic condition in which an individual has a third copy of chromosome 18. The statistics my parents were given when Melody was born were grim. They were told that babies with Trisomy 18 only make it out of the womb alive 10% of the time, and If the babies survive delivery, 50% don’t survive the first week. Of those, only 5-10% make it to a year.

Melody not only made it to a year, she has lived for close to a decade! She is a healthy and happy little girl. Tragically, when babies in the womb have a positive screening test for Trisomy 18, they are labeled “incompatible with life”, and the pressure to abort is overwhelming.

Melody is certainly not “incompatible with life.” She is equally human like the rest of us and full of vitality.

Go to melodysstory.com to read more about her incredible story. (I drew liberally from Melody’s website which is written by my mom, Jennifer Thenhaus.)

Grant and the Gospel

“I don’t understand why I need to role-play,” Grant announced as I took my seat at the table.

About a year ago, my team and I traveled to San Antonio to facilitate a seminar for the pro-life club at University of Texas at San Antonio. During the last section of the seminar, we invited the participants to role-play a conversation on the topic of abortion with a JFA staff member.

It was at this point that Grant let me know he did not see any value in this exercise. I saw this as an opportunity to impart understanding. He informed me, “I will never have a conversation on this issue.” I encouraged him that it is important to be prepared to articulate his personal beliefs if someone asks him about abortion.

Grant then went on to share that he did not know where he stood on the issue of abortion. He had never thought about it prior to that day. The training material we presented was foreign information to him, including the images of the unborn in the different developmental stages. Grant also explained that he is not a confrontational person at all. If he is ever in a conversation where he disagrees with the other person, he stays quiet for fear that someone might ridicule him or make fun of his position.

I now began to understand where he was coming from. I naturally assume that most people who attend our seminars are pro-life. That is not always the case. As we talked that day, Grant did conclude that abortion is wrong.

Our conversation continued.

Andrea: I know you mentioned earlier that you have not thought through your position on the topic of abortion. You had a lot of information presented to you today. Since we agree that abortion is wrong, could we also agree that we need to stand up for the unborn? It would be as if your neighbor were abusing his child. Would you do something about it? Would you try to protect this child by calling social services?

Grant: Yes, of course.

Andrea: If someone came onto this campus and started shooting his gun, would you do what you could to stop the violence?

Grant: Yes, I would at least run for my life. I would also try to warn others and call the police.

Andrea: Exactly. Let’s imagine that your neighbor’s house was on fire at three in the morning. You would not think, “I do not want to offend my neighbor at this time of night.” No, you would warn your neighbor of the fire and do whatever it takes to get everyone out to safety. It’s the same with the unborn. I believe we should do what we can to stop this injustice.

Grant: That makes sense. I see where you are coming from.

We continued conversing on the topic for a few more minutes. For the most part, I asked questions and let him share his thoughts.

Andrea at UTSA Feb. 2022

He told me of his upbringing, how he was in foster care for three months and then adopted.

At this point, I knew role-playing a conversation was not what he needed. Grant had already sat through a four hour seminar.

I shifted our conversation to spiritual matters, and discovered he is currently searching. We had an extensive discussion in which I was able to share the hope of the gospel with him. He was actively engaged and seemed to be greatly impacted by our conversation.

Grant concluded, “I think it’s great to have conversations like this one. It is okay to disagree about certain topics, but still respectfully hear each other out. When I talk to my friends about issues that we may disagree on, they think we should just be done talking altogether. That is not how it should be. In our conversation, we had different views on things, but because you listened to me, I felt like I could actually share my opinion.”

The heart of JFA is to ask questions, listen, and find common ground whenever possible in every conversation. This approach can have a powerful impact in any conversation, not just when conversing about abortion. “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” (Theodore Roosevelt) We should never assume we know what someone believes. We must ask questions and listen, showing that we care about them. The impact can be profound. Even though Grant had different views than I do, he still felt like he could share his thoughts, and as a result was more open to listening.

Please join me in praying that God will continue to work in Grant’s life. Please also pray for us as we continue to talk to people like Grant.