kristina massa

Flipping Tables in the Courtyard

My team spent three days at Boise State University in August. Although abortion is banned in Idaho, most of the students who voted on our poll were pro-choice, suggesting that the laws are vulnerable to change.

A female student at Boise State University charged towards me and, with all her might, tried to rip the “No” sign off our poll table. Everyone’s attention turned to her. She seemed to have zero shame. I contemplated calling the police but first wanted to give her a chance to redeem herself, if she was willing. Whatever I would say, I needed to avoid adding more fuel to the fire.

Kristina: It looks like you’re very passionate about this issue. Would you be open to sharing why?

Like many students I meet on campus, she was angry that her perceived right to abortion was up for debate. As she spoke, I built rapport by acknowledging any common ground we had and refraining from challenging her accusations. She must have realized that I wasn’t her enemy because she started to cool down.

Changing the subject, she asked:

Student: Are you one of those homophobic people?

Kristina: I do think that marriage is for a man and a woman. If you’re interested, I’d be happy to share why.

Student: Jesus taught love and kindness. I just wish more people were kind to each other.

Kristina: I do, too. Do you think, though, that trying to damage our display exhibited kindness?

Her face flushed with embarrassment.

Student: I am so sorry about that. I just had a “flipping tables in the temple” moment. I was angry, and when I get angry, I can hardly control myself.

Her demeanor continued to soften.

As I asked more questions about her life, I learned that she was raised in the Episcopalian church, her parents were divorced, and her dad had a boyfriend.

Student: Jesus preached against judging people, and he actually thought highly of women. He was even kind to prostitutes.

Kristina: He did treat women well, which was countercultural at the time. In the story of the woman caught in adultery, he challenged the Pharisees who were accusing her by saying, “Let the man without sin cast the first stone.” But do you know what he did afterwards?

Student: No, what did he do?

Kristina: He said to the adulterous woman, “Go, and sin no more.” He taught repentance. So Jesus’ full message is faith in him accompanied by love and repentance. We have to turn from our sin.

Student: What does “sin” mean?

She seemed to know so much, yet so little at the same time, but she was enthusiastic to learn.

I walked her through the story of the fall in the Garden of Eden, how each of us has disobeyed God by violating the moral law, and how Jesus is the only way to freedom from sin. I also shared why marriage is a covenant that can only exist between a man and a woman. While she didn’t agree with my explanation, she didn’t argue with it either.

Kristina: Would it be alright if I prayed with you right now?

Student: Sure!

We bowed our heads. I thanked God for our conversation and the unique gifts that He gave her. I also asked that her heart would be opened to knowing Jesus and to turning from the sin in her life. Then it was time for her next class.

Student: I learned a lot today, and I really appreciated this conversation. Again, I am so sorry for trying to damage your display.

It was like the woman I met earlier that morning was a new person! We said our goodbyes and parted ways.

Thank you for your prayers and support as I continue in this mission. It’s through experiences like these that I know the Holy Spirit is with my team and moving in the people with whom we speak. God generously gives second chances, and witnessing the character growth of this student was a humbling reminder of the countless redemptive opportunities He continues to offer me (and every one of us!).

Answering the Hard Cases

August 2023 Impact Report

In almost every conversation about abortion, we can expect people to ask about “hard cases” such as rape, incest, and life-threatening pregnancy complications. In this Impact Report, JFA trainer Kristina Massa beautifully illustrates JFA’s framework for addressing these questions. Through the story of a conversation from our April 2023 outreach at Colorado State University (CSU), Kristina describes step by step how she began with relational sensitivity and continued in that mode while also offering intellectually satisfying answers. Thank you for partnering with us so we can train more Christians and pro-life advocates to use this framework. It gives our strong case against elective abortion the best chance of being considered by skeptical listeners.

Steve Wagner, Executive Director

I watched “Brad” have his first “aha” moment within a few minutes of starting our conversation. My team was set up at Colorado State University in the middle of the campus’s main plaza when I found Brad standing by the free speech board. He was staring pensively at the comments. “Do you have any thoughts on abortion?” I asked. He answered that since the unborn are not conscious, they do not have the same rights as born humans. To make sure I understood his view, I asked a few more questions and found common ground with him where I could. Eventually I felt like I had built enough rapport with him to challenge his perspective. Here is the gist of what followed:

Kristina: I agree there are many differences between the unborn and us. There are also many differences between you and me. I think the question we need to answer is whether these differences matter. For example, you have dark skin, I have light skin. You are taller than me, I have longer hair than you. I am older than you, you are probably smarter than me. It seems like in order to demand we should be treated equally, there has to be something the same or equal about us; something that adults and infants have, but animals do not. Since animals are also conscious, it seems like the quality that grounds our equal rights must be more fundamental.

Kristina (right) talks to students at JFA’s Fort Lewis College outreach event in Durango, Colorado in April 2022.

That was when he had his first “aha” moment.

Brad: We’re all human beings.

Intellectually, he understood the pro-life position. Emotionally, there was still one roadblock hindering him from agreeing with it.

Brad: But what if a woman was raped? My mom was raped and became pregnant with my older sister. Do you think women should have a choice in a situation like that?

Here’s a close up of the free speech board at the CSU outreach. It’s a concept we’ve been testing recently.

Brad asked me a yes or no question, but I was not going to give him a quick yes or no response. The scenario was personal to him, and I needed to meet him relationally before I could give him my answer.

Kristina: I am so sorry your mom went through that. Rape is one of the most heinous crimes. How is she doing now?

Brad: Yeah, it was really hard on her. Thankfully she was already married to my dad, and he was very supportive of her through it. He told her that he would help her take care of my sister.

Rather than immediately answering his question, I slowed the conversation down by expressing concern for his mother. I focused on meeting what we at JFA call “the relational challenge.” This answers the question, “What about the woman? Do pro-life people think the lives of women who have been raped matter?” After all, the woman we were discussing was not an abstract hypothetical character. For Brad, she was his mother.

Still, Brad wanted to know my answer to “the intellectual challenge:” Is abortion justified if the woman was raped? Should it be legal? To answer this, I used the dialogue tool Trot Out the Toddler. It went something like this:

Kristina: Can I share a scenario with you that’s related to your question?

Brad: Sure.

Kristina: Imagine a woman is raped, becomes pregnant, and gives birth to her baby. She’s hurting, and even looking at her baby overwhelms her with fear and pain because her child’s existence reminds her of her attack. This is a terrible and tragic scenario no one should ever have to face. But Brad, I am guessing you and I will agree on a few things about this situation: We both want this woman to heal. We also want her to have choices to go about her healing. But those choices are not unlimited. If she thought ending her infant’s life would be the most helpful way to heal her trauma, we would not let her go through with it. Would you say you share that conviction as well?

Brad: Yes, she cannot kill her baby. That’s a human being.

Kristina: I agree with you, and that is the significant thing. When we say she cannot kill her newborn, we are not saying, “I don’t care about your rape. I don’t care about your trauma. I don’t care about your child.” What we are saying is, “I care so much about you, and I want you to have choices. I just want you to have choices that will help both of you and don’t add violence to an already violent situation.” Since the unborn have a human nature like the infant in this circumstance, do you think it could make sense to protect the unborn in the same way we protect infants who were conceived in rape?

Brad paused to reflect. And then I watched him have his second “aha” moment.

Brad’s comment on the free speech board

Brad: I think you are right. Unborn human beings have the same basic rights we do, so they should be protected, too.

Then he walked back to the free speech board to write the following comment: “It comes down to how we value human life. As humans, we create criteria for what qualifies as a “human.” That is how I perceive the pinpoint of this argument. Perhaps if we come to an agreement for what is truly human, we could apply that criteria for everyone...”

Thank you for helping me make the abortion of all children – regardless of the circumstances that created them – unthinkable, one person at a time. In case no one has told you recently, your life matters, too!

The Impact of a Single Conversation

Recently I was at Wichita State University (WSU) for outreach when two young men approached my colleague Tammy Cook and me at our poll table. Tammy asked, “Do either of you have any thoughts on abortion?” One student shared that he is pro-life. The other (whom I’ll call “Dillon”) said something that surprised Tammy and me:

Bella (right, gray sweatshirt) and Kristina (left, seated) talk to students during JFA’s February 2022 outreach event at Wichita State University (WSU).

“I used to be pro-choice, but I had a three-hour conversation about abortion with someone last school year. She pulverized all of my arguments. When I realized I couldn’t respond to anything she said even in my head, I knew I had to change my mind.”

Bella O’Neill (seated) discusses abortion with a student during JFA’s outreach event at the University of Texas at San Antonio in February 2022.

The “someone” he was referring to was my former colleague, Bella O’Neill. Their conversation had taken place six months earlier (February 2022). What began as a simple one-on-one survey with questions related to human rights turned into a comprehensive discourse with five other pro-choice advocates challenging her pro-life position. What’s fascinating is that Dillon showed no sign of shifting his view throughout the duration of their discussion. If he had never come back, we wouldn’t have known that he had re-evaluated his stance.

“You changed your mind after that one conversation?” Tammy asked.

Tammy Cook listens to a student at Wichita State University (WSU) in February 2022.

Kristina interacts with a WSU student in February 2022 in front of JFA’s “Where Do You Draw the Line?” Kiosk and Free Speech Board.

“Yeah, she had a really good response to everything I said. If this was a debate, she definitely won.”

Dillon kept reiterating how well Bella had made her case.

“Did you know that…more babies are killed by abortion than there were victims of the Holocaust?” Dillon asked.

The rawness of his question caught me off guard. Not only was he suggesting that abortion is an injustice; he was implying that it’s a genocide.

After his newfound pro-life conviction had proven itself authentic, I decided to challenge him with a more sophisticated pro-choice argument—an argument from bodily autonomy. Within a matter of seconds, he started breaking it down to explain why it wouldn’t justify abortion.

Dillon’s story is an important reminder that the impact of a single conversation is often hidden. It can be discouraging when we don’t get to witness the fruits of our labor, but God occasionally rewards us with follow-up conversations like this one to affirm that, by His grace, our efforts are not in vain. With each conversation, we must persistently pray that He will continue the conversation in their minds after we “leave them with a pebble in their shoe” (as apologist Greg Koukl says).

Dillon’s story also demonstrates the critical need for all pro-life people to prayerfully work up the courage to talk about abortion. So many of our peers are eagerly searching for truth. They desire an honest conversation that challenges the assumptions behind their current beliefs. Unfortunately, many of them have never had the chance to discuss their beliefs in a healthy way. Their opportunity to get closer to truth may begin with you.

If you would like to learn the conversation skills that Bella used with Dillon, please consider signing up for Love3, JFA’s online interactive workshop series. We will teach you how to respond to common pro-choice arguments all in the context of being a loving ambassador for Christ. You can get more information and register for free at www.jfaweb.org/love3.

Bella’s courage to talk about abortion gave Dillon an opportunity to encounter truth. And because of Dillon’s desire to seek truth, he concluded that abortion is not merely a choice—it’s the destruction of a person with rights. Please join me in prayerful thanksgiving for Bella saying “Yes!” to God’s invitation to talk to Dillon, as well as Dillon’s “Yes!” to humbly allowing the conversation to change his mind.

– Kristina Massa, for the JFA Team

Note: Kristina originally sent this story to supporters in September 2022.

JFA Intern Kristina Massa Speaking at the National Pro-Life Summit

We’re honored to announce that our intern Kristina Massa will be speaking at this year’s National Pro-Life Summit in Washington D.C. on January 21st! Those attending will be equipped and empowered to change hearts and minds about abortion by learning effective dialogue skills that balance truth and love. Kristina will share some vivid stories from her own experiences in conversations that will provide guidance in navigating the abortion issue with those in our culture

Click here for more info and to register/attend. View the free live stream for this event at this link (Kristina speaks at about 10:45 AM Eastern).